Saturday, March 12, 2016

My Big Fat Lonely 3rd Trimester

            During Adam’s terrifying health ordeal, we tried to shift our focus to our little boy and the exciting things to come. We spent a lot of time trying to figure out the perfect name for him, a name that we would all love for a lifetime. No pressure or anything. We knew that we wanted something unique but didn’t even know where to start. We both read through a baby name book that had about ten thousand different names in it. Talk about overwhelming. We each made a list of names that caught our interest and then shared them with each other. Surprisingly we had several names in common, one being the name that we would ultimately choose. We narrowed down the names, weeding out the ones that the other had a strong dislike for. Being a former pediatric nurse made choosing a name even more difficult for me because Adam had names on his list that I loved at one point in time but then had that one patient who ruined the name for me. All nurses and school teachers know exactly what I am talking about. We made one final list composed of five names. Monroe was at the top of each of our lists making it the number one choice on our final list. It was a unique name, one not heard everyday. In fact, when I did a search on the name I found that it hadn’t been a popular name since the 1880s. We were sold.
            The middle name had been decided long before we even found out we were expecting. Both Adam and his dad Jamil share the middle name Mohamed. Adam had expressed to me early on that he wanted his first-born son to carry on his middle name. How could I argue with that? Besides, Monroe Mohamed Bakri just kind of rolled nicely off of the tongue.
            We kept the name quiet, only telling Adam’s parents and my parents. My brother’s girlfriend at the time, now his wife, told us that if we weren’t going to tell her the name that she was just going to call him Baby Mohamed. I looked at her shocked. Sheer disappointment fell over me because I thought my mom had let our little secret slip. When I asked Becky why she chose that name, she responded that Mohamed was the most popular male name in the world so that would be the baby's name until she knew differently. Whew! Close call.
            We had officially named our little guy and things seemed to be looking up for us. Adam had been cleared by all of his doctors to leave for Africa, which he was extremely anxious about. He missed work and was ready to get back in the grind of things. As Adam prepared for his trip back to Angola, I prepared for what would be a very lonely third trimester. I was nearing the seventh month of my pregnancy and had no choice but to stay behind. The long flight, possible malaria exposure, and lack of health care there made it too big of a risk for me to travel with him. We didn’t have a nursery set up or a single baby item in Luanda considering the last time I left I wasn’t pregnant, or at least we didn’t think I was pregnant. My type A personality made me a little stressed out knowing that we were completely unprepared to bring a baby back to Luanda, but at the same time, we had no other option at this point and needed to just roll with the punches, again.
            I kissed Adam goodbye at the airport and settled into my new routine, one with a few less doctor appointments and a lot more Skype dates. While Adam was hard at work in Africa, I spent my days making sure our little guy and I stayed nice and healthy. I was very careful about my diet during my pregnancy even giving up a few of my favorite things such as soft cheeses, medium rare steaks, sushi, and the occasional beer. It was almost painful to look across the table at everyone around me indulging in a nice pink and juicy steak or a pint of ice cold beer and then glance down at my overcooked piece of meat and boring glass of water. But I did it for nine long months. I exercised almost daily throughout my pregnancy. I ran every pre-pregnancy day, so I tried to keep up that routine for as long as possible. I stopped after my first trimester, though, and decided that nice long three-mile walks daily with my mother-in-law were better suited for my constantly changing body.
            I also spent my time reading books to our little guy as well as carrying on little conversations with him throughout the day. It sounds silly but with Adam gone, Monroe was the only company I had at home. I looked forward to our daily Skype dates with Adam. I had Belly Buds that I would stick on my stomach so Roe could Skype with us. Even though Adam was halfway around the world, I wanted our little guy to still know the sound of Adam’s soothing voice.
            I was missing Adam like crazy, but the days went fast and were filled with fun and exciting things including paintings, baby showers, and dance parties in my stomach. Of course, Roe was the solo attendee to those parties, but I enjoyed watching and feeling the little guy bust a move. He obviously got his dance moves from his daddy.


            Dr. Harrington, a pediatrician in Wichita, was in the process of redesigning the examine rooms in her office. Her nurse JaLayna, one of my former co-workers, had mentioned to her that I painted a few canvases for Roe’s nursery. They asked if I would be willing to do a painting for each of her three examine rooms. My three-mile walks and Skype dates with Adam only occupied a few hours during my day, so I was more than happy to take on the project to help pass the time. The exam rooms were named after animals: a polar bear, an elephant, and a hippopotamus. The animal of the particular exam room it would adorn inspired each 24"x36" canvas painting.



            With the paintings completed, it was now time to relax and shower Monroe with lots of love and gifts. My cousin’s wife Amber and my brother’s now wife Becky hosted a fabulous safari themed baby shower for me in Atchison. My family and closest friends were all in attendance. We sipped on water from the watering hole and blue rhino juice whilst indulging in turkey and cheese sandwiches cut out in the shape of elephants. Everyone spoiled Monroe with more gifts than I could have imagined. Becky’s mom even made the cutest animal props I have ever seen for shower pictures. The props have now found a new home on Roe’s bookshelf in his nursery and are just anxiously awaiting the day that Roe will no longer want to eat them but instead play with them.


            The following weekend my mother-in-law Carolyn, her sisters Shannon and Lynn, and her sister-in-law Candi all hosted a boy bash themed baby shower in Wichita. Eating delicious food that satisfied all of my pregnancy cravings and sipping grapefruit juice (my favorite) out of champagne flutes adorned with little mustaches made for a perfect and relaxing morning. Talk about feeling blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life.


            The eight weeks were coming to an end, and I was anxiously awaiting Adam’s arrival back in the States. I had one last solo doctor’s appointment before he made it back. Dr. Kindel had started my weekly checks and informed me that I wasn’t dilated at all. I remember a sense of relief falling over me as I let out a “thank goodness.” She gave me a confused look considering most people want to be dilated signaling that a delivery may be just around the corner. I explained to her that wasn’t the case for us because Adam hadn’t touched down on U.S. soil yet, and I had no plans to deliver a baby without him.
           Adam finally made it home. He hadn’t seen me in eight weeks so he was a little surprised at my changing shape. It is one thing to see me on video or in a picture, but it is another to see me in person. Adam told me I looked great and had gotten quite a bit bigger since he saw me last, but lets be honest, I was HUGE! With Adam home and Monroe officially considered full term at thirty-seven weeks, we were ready for baby.

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