Life WITHOUT The Kardashians

            I never watched much television in the States, with the exception of the occasional study breaks that I built into my hectic schedule to watch Dr. Phil offer his expert opinion on numerous subjects and to “dance” with Ellen. With a full-time job, graduate school, and a relationship half way around the world, who had time for television? But while Adam was battling the mosquito’s venom, we spent a lot of time lounging on the couch watching television. I quickly found myself longing for the American television that had never really made much of an impression on me before my move to Luanda.

Simple channel surfing taught me a lot about television here. I have learned that although most of the channels here are in Portuguese, there is still a decent selection of English speaking channels as well. But of course the English speaking channels come with a catch, or two in this case. They all have Portuguese subtitles that cover up any captions, names, or descriptions of additional details that some shows offer. AND, they are a few seasons behind the shows in the States. I feel like I am in the Hunger Games because I somehow managed to survive the first round of John and Kate Plus Eight and now am being forced back into the arena with them. Enough already. We often find ourselves flipping through the channels in hopes that there might be a show on that we both enjoy, but have slowly come to terms with the fact that we will have to instead settle on something we both can stand watching.

The channels aren’t the only difference between television in Luanda and television in the States. Commercials are non-existent here, and instead are replaced by occasional footage explaining what is up next. I am sure many Americans would find the lack of commercials a real treat, with the exception of the Super Bowl of course. But the lack of commercials actually makes it more difficult to follow television shows because there aren’t set schedules; shows don’t run on a thirty minute or sixty minute schedule like they do in the States. Instead, if a show is twenty-two minutes long, then it gets twenty-two minutes of airtime. Here Comes Honey Boo Boo may come on at 9:15am one morning and at 10:30am the next morning. I have learned to turn the television onto the right channel about 30 minutes prior to any show that I want to watch just to make sure that I don’t miss it.

Despite the limited number of channels and lack of schedule, I am extremely happy to report that both Dr. Phil and Ellen have made their way to Luanda! Yes, we get both shows here! I will never get sick of either show and always look forward to watching them even if it does mean that I am watching a rerun from Ellen’s 12 Days of Giveaway 2012 in the middle of March 2013.

            Luanda television is probably not up to par for American television lovers because we don’t get to see which housewife is throwing drinks on the other housewife, what toddler won the latest beauty pageant, and how Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe managed to make headlines yet again. It is all perfectly fine by us. It gives us more reason to get outside, soak up some rays, and hit the beach. Life. Is. Good.